tonight's dinner conversation between isla and macrae was about copyrights and who had the copyright to the pattern of mandarin orange slices and the way they were laid out on the counter. i wonder what is being taught in elementary school these days? i'm getting my moneys worth. that's for dang sure! and macrae is now asking me how to spell things...since he goes to (joy) school now. these kids...this life...it is beautiful!
it's been a struggle to sit down and write. what should i say? i have thoughts that i should be recording here but well, i am not sure how to express them without seeming as though i'm crying out for help. i certainly am not crying out for help. (okay, sometimes i am.) but this time in my life is difficult. it is sad. it is confusing. at times i am so overcome with sadness that i can barely breath. but all of the melancholy feelings are also lined with the joy of what i have...the life that i live.
questioning eternity and all of that. it's a bit heavy.
look at baby joshy. if you want to kiss his face off i won't blame you. i do! if this is what eternity is all about, then count me in!
Just so you don't feel down after reading my post here, watch the following video. I'm not a photographer but Scott Schuman really inspires me.
"you never know what it is...you just let it happen...it's almost like falling in love a little bit every day..."
this is how i feel about my life...i'm falling in love a little bit every day. if you don't already know The Sartorialist, it's time you did.
6 comments:
So glad your mom has been able to meet and love on another grandson...hoping she can enjoy time with Jude too in the spring! bless you for trying to articulate your thoughts; my past year has been a blur for different reasons but haven't managed to get in writing either:/ Even contemplating life without my mom makes me emotional so can't imagine your mixed emotions but appreciate your perspective & also insights via dad's blog. I'm sure you are hanging onto every last second & hope you have many more memorable moments together--
oh anna.....what do I say? How do I tell you I love you and your family and that my heart breaks for you? How do I tell you I think of you always? I wish words were stronger and fuller than they are.
Every ounce of faith that I have is going into prayers for you, for Val and Dan, for your sisters and brothers and chicklets. Sometimes I don't even know what to pray for...but I pray on. Baby Joshua is beautiful--his sweet face is a glimpse of eternity--I'll meet you there ok? maybe then we'll understand all the why's in this life.
Hang in there. I know you can. And when you can't, HE can. so hang onto HIM.
love you A.
Anna, my sweet sweet cousin. We all love you so much. I think my mom and I cry every time we talk about you and val, because we are both so blessed to have you in our lives. Lots of loving thoughts are always being sent your way. And I can't believe Rhett your baby is two!! Time moves crazy fast!
Love you!!!
Love you, praying, and sending huge hugs. xo
kjrsten described it as "not being able to breath" when you think about it. i've had that feeling (i have that feeling) and it hurts. losing a parent is........ the oddest thing in the world. parents shouldn't leave. no matter your age. parents are always there. the thought of them not being is suffocating.... and my heart breaks that your having to go through this right now.
sending love and lots of prayers. lots and lots.
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